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Stick to the ‘kin road – Tarmac Tantrum

With the roads being heavily, and mean heavily congested at this time of the year, the thing that annoys me the most is that a white-bearded man in a red suit can frivolously ignore our nation’s (or any nation for that matter) road rules. Not only does this person exceed the speed limit (obviously going faster than the speed of light) but his reindeer-drawn sleigh doesn’t even stay on the bloody tarmac – in the final ‘Tarmac Tantrum’ of the year, we get annoyed with Santa.

‘Ho ho ho’ guffaws the portly old chap as he laughs at both the road going public and law officers alike, flaunting road and safety rules as he treks across the globe. Sure he has a big job to do, delivering presents to all and sundry, but so too do truck drivers!

Aside from the fact that his ‘one horse sleigh’ is unlikely to gain a star from ANCAP or the CAA, there are no seatbelts or airbags, no lane keep assist or blindspot alerts and as far as I can see, his vehicle doesn’t even have any lights – AND to me, Rudolphs’ red nose simply adds to the confusion.

I could be wrong, but I don’t think he’s sat any licence (road or air) in any country, not even his own as I’m sure there is no ‘government office’ at the north pole, and with the amount of presents he would be carrying, I feel certain that he would be overweight.

On top of all this, he appears to park wherever he damn well pleases (even on rooftops), without getting parking tickets, with traffic wardens and cops turning a blind eye – evidently being ‘bribed’ by the naughty/nice list system – I mean, he must be driving over the limit due to the alcoholic treats that have been left out for him at every home!

Tarmac Tantrum

Now I’m not saying we should claim to be Santa if stopped over the Xmas (in fact I’m advocating staying well within legal parameters), but it does seem to be a case of ‘one rule for us and another (or none) for Santa’.

Have a fabulous Xmas and New Year from all of us at Tarmac Life, enjoy your break and stay safe. And for those not dropping by over the next couple of weeks, see you in 2024 where there will be more news, reviews, fun and tantrums!

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