Why New Zealand’s favourite roadside spectator sport is slowing us all down
There are few things more predictable on a New Zealand motorway than this sequence of events: Traffic slows, Brake lights multiply like rabbits, Everyone groans.
You assume there’s been an apocalypse involving three trucks, a helicopter and possibly Godzilla, then you finally crawl past the ‘incident’, and what do you discover? A police car, one ute with a slightly dented bumper, a bewildered seagull? That’s it.
Welcome to the wonderful world of rubbernecking – the strange human compulsion to transform perfectly flowing traffic into an impromptu car park because someone, somewhere, has something mildly more interesting happening than your Spotify playlist. It’s time we talked about it.
Rubbernecking – Humanity’s Least Productive Hobby
The dictionary defines rubbernecking as staring excessively at something of interest, particularly accidents. I define it as “The act of turning your neck into a telescope while simultaneously forgetting your right foot controls the accelerator.”
We’ve all done it and don’t pretend otherwise. You glance, then glance again, then slow down ‘just a little’, Before you know it, you’ve become part of a 6km traffic jam caused by approximately 8,000 people all trying to answer exactly the same question: “Ooooh… what’s happened?”
The irony? By the time you get there, there’s absolutely nothing left to see.
The Human Brain Is Basically a Curious Labrador
Why do we rubberneck? Because our brains are spectacularly nosy. Psychologists have spent years studying what’s known as ‘morbid curiosity’ our natural attraction to unusual, unexpected or potentially dangerous situations.
Your brain evolved to investigate strange events. Thousands of years ago that instinct helped determine whether the rustling in the bushes was dinner, or whether dinner was about to eat you.
Today? That same instinct activates because someone has clipped a traffic cone near Hamilton. Evolution hasn’t quite caught up with the motorway.
What Exactly Are People Hoping To See?
Let’s be honest, nobody reaches the scene of a crash and thinks, “Oh brilliant. Exactly what I hoped for.”
So what are we expecting? A Ferrari balancing on a sheep. Two caravans attempting interpretive dance. A UFO. Jezza yelling at a cyclist. A Lamborghini somehow upside down in a vineyard. A tractor overtaking a McLaren.
Reality is usually considerably less exciting. It’s normally, Two insurance companies preparing lengthy emails, someone waiting awkwardly beside their car or a tow truck operator quietly getting on with life.
Yet somehow we still slow to walking pace as though we’re watching the season finale of our favourite TV show.
“I’m Only Slowing For A Second”
Ah yes, the greatest lie motorists tell themselves. “I’m just having a quick look.” Except 50 drivers behind you also had “just a quick look.” Each slows by a fraction, each taps the brakes. That tiny delay ripples backwards through traffic like someone doing the Mexican Wave… except everyone loses 20 minutes instead of gaining entertainment.
Traffic engineers even have a name for these chain reactions, they’re called shockwaves.
Appropriate really, because it’s always shocking how one curious glance can create a motorway queue stretching halfway to the next town.
Congratulations, You’re Now The Problem
Here’s the uncomfortable truth. Most people believe traffic is something that happens *to* them. Actually, traffic is something we collectively create. That driver who slowed unnecessarily, the ute that braked because the first driver braked, the SUV behind them checking whether the crash involved someone they know, the hatchback filming everything on their phone (don’t do this) all caused the excess traffic build up.
What’s more, somewhere behind this chain reaction sits an ambulance, or someone trying to get to hospital, or a parent collecting children, or a courier carrying something important. All delayed because half the motorway wanted front-row seats to absolutely nothing.
The Opposite Side Syndrome
Perhaps the most baffling form of rubbernecking occurs when traffic stops…because something happened on the other side of the motorway. You’re travelling north and the accident is heading south. It’s separated by a concrete barrier, several lanes and approximately 15 metres. Yet somehow traffic on your side slows to 20km/h because Dave in his crossover desperately needs visual confirmation that yes, that Toyota Corolla has indeed lost its front bumper.
Dave, mate…keep driving.
Social Media Has Made It Worse
Once upon a time people merely looked, now they record. Some even upload videos before they’ve cleared the traffic. Nothing says modern civilisation quite like delaying emergency services so strangers online can comment: “Looks nasty.” Cheers, internet.
The Real Cost
Here’s where the joke stops.Rubbernecking isn’t merely irritating, it creates genuine danger.
Unexpected braking leads to rear-end collisions. Traffic bunches together, drivers become distracted, emergency crews face additional hazards from vehicles creeping past while everyone stares instead of concentrating.
In some cases, secondary crashes caused by rubbernecking can become more serious than the original incident. People uninvolved in the first crash become involved in the second one, because someone wanted a better look.
The Tarmac Life Rubbernecking Survival Guide
If you encounter an incident ahead, here’s a revolutionary concept. Just Drive. That’s it.
If police haven’t stopped you, if emergency services don’t require assistance, just drive.
If there are already six fire trucks, four police cars, two ambulances and someone wearing a high-vis vest waving confidently, trust me, they’ve got enough spectators. What they don’t need is another hundred amateur investigators crawling past at bicycle speed.
A Radical Proposal
Imagine if everyone keeps a safe following distance, nobody brakes unnecessarily and people resist the overwhelming temptation to audition for New Zealand’s Slowest Documentary Crew. The traffic keeps flowing, emergency services work safely and everyone gets home sooner. It’s almost suspiciously sensible.
Keep Your Eyes On Your Own Road
Driving is one of the few activities where paying attention to what’s directly in front of you remains an exceptionally good idea. The crash you’re gawping at has already happened, the one you’re about to cause because you weren’t watching your lane? That’s still entirely preventable.
So next time traffic slows because someone on the opposite carriageway has had an unfortunate meeting with a guardrail, resist the urge. Don’t stretch your neck, don’t lift your phone, don’t become part of the congestion. Instead, perform the most rebellious act possible in modern traffic. Look ahead, keep moving.
And remember, if you really need to know what happened, it’ll probably be on the news by dinner time, preferably filmed by someone who wasn’t holding up half the motorway. Because the only thing more frustrating than being stuck in a traffic jam, is discovering YOU were the traffic jam all along.
