In a move that has surprised precisely no one who has ever tried to decipher the sprawling enigma of German automotive nomenclature, Audi has announced a global standardisation of its model names. Gone are the days of puzzling over even and odd numbers signifying different powertrains. The future, according to Audi, is alphanumeric and, dare we say, logical.
The brand claims this change is driven by “intensive discussions” and customer feedback, suggesting a global outcry against numerical ambiguity. Imagine the scenes: distraught Audi owners huddled in support groups, lamenting their inability to distinguish an A7 TFSIe from an A6 allroad quattro. The trauma!
No longer will potential buyers need a PhD in automotive engineering to understand the Audi lineup. The new system will use letters (A for low-floor, Q for high-floor) and numbers (1-8 for size) to create a universally understandable hierarchy. This means an electric A6 and a gasoline-powered A6 will both be… A6s. Revolutionary! Further differentiation will be achieved with familiar suffixes like “Avant,” “Sedan,” “Sportback,” and powertrain designations like “e-tron” and “TFSI.”
“We choose the names of our models in a way that reveals size and positioning at first glance,” declared Marco Schubert, Audi board member for sales and marketing, apparently unaware that this has not always been the case.
This momentous shift will be inaugurated with the unveiling of the combustion-engine A6 on March 4th. Current models will retain their existing names, sparing current owners the existential crisis of re-learning their car’s identity.
While this simplification might seem like common sense, in the often-convoluted world of luxury car branding, it’s practically avant-garde. Some might even call it… disruptive. Now, if only they could simplify the options packages.
