If Monopoly is the closest you’ve come to luxury gaming, brace yourself: Rolls-Royce—yep, the same Rolls-Royce that makes cars you’re more likely to ride in than drive—has just released a chess set that is lavish enough to checkmate your ego (and your savings account).
Forget plastic pawns and boards that fold—this is chess for the type of person who threatens to buy the board if they lose. Rolls-Royce’s new chess set is truly, outrageously, unapologetically “not for rookies,” unless your first car was a Cullinan and the phrase “If you have to ask the price, you can’t afford it” feels like an inside joke.
Handcrafted for Billionaire Tastebuds
Rolls-Royce didn’t just slap their badge on some mass-produced novelty for petrolhead grandads. No, this stunner is handcrafted to the same “billionaire expectations” as their vehicles, with a materials list that reads like James Bond’s interior decorator’s fever dream: high-quality leather sourced from cows so pampered their hides are free of bite marks and even fence scratches, aluminium machined so precisely you could probably floss your teeth with it, and finishes that would make any furniture polisher weep.
The Ritual (and Theatre) of Play
In keeping with the spirit of Rolls-Royce, the chessboard opens with a “theatrical motion” reminiscent of the famous coach doors on their cars—the only thing missing is a butler to narrate your moves. The game pieces are serious hardware: ceramic-coated aluminium monoliths, topped by polished stainless steel heads, inspired by the kind of unimpeachable mechanical detail you find in an actual Rolls-Royce dashboard. They’re magnetized (because gravity is just too basic) so your bishops and knights glide “effortlessly” with the precision of a V12 engine on cruise control.
Lose a pawn and promote—don’t worry. Rolls-Royce has hidden queen pieces in secret drawers, popped open with a delicate touch. Houdini would be proud.
It’s All About the Bespoke
Forget one-size-fits-all. Much like their motor cars, your chess set can be customized with various veneers (from high-gloss Blackwood to Open Pore Smoked Eucalyptus) and 13 (!) leather color options ranging from Cashmere Grey to Peony Pink and even Lime Green—because nothing says “chess mastery” like intimidation by interior design.
Price? If You Have to Ask…
How much, you ask? Rolls-Royce keeps the price hidden behind a bespoke velvet rope, but given their last home accessory—the Cellarette whisky and cigar chest—went for around USD $61,000, let’s just say you’ll need a lot of pawns to save up (and probably an actual Rolls parked in your garage to even get on the waiting list).
For the Show-Off Who Has Everything
As a final flex, each chess set bears the Spirit of Ecstasy emblem. It’s not just a game; it’s a contemporary work of art and an authentic extension of the Rolls-Royce experience. You don’t just play the Rolls-Royce Chess Set. You host a spectacle—while dreaming that one day your opponent will stop admiring the leather long enough to actually move a piece.
So if you’re tired of ordinary checkmates and want every win to feel like conquering Monaco in a Phantom, step up and get yours—just don’t forget to check your bank balance before you castle kingside – Checkmate, commoners.
