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Yep, they made another one.

Rating: 4/10, but really a 9/10 because we all know what we’re getting.

Phenomenal. Superb. Incredible. Wonderful.

These are words you can leave by the door before you see Fast and Furious 9.

However, reviewing films like this is fraught with peril. It’s not fair to compare it to filmmaking masterpieces of the last century, or expect it to be nominated for anything in award season; it’d be like going to a fast food restaurant and complaining there’s no 8 course degustation menu, white tablecloths, and a wine list. You know what you’re getting before you go in and therein lies the charm of Fast and Furious 9 and by extension the whole franchise thus far.

Amidst the generally OK acting, pumping soundtracks, women in tight dresses dancing in slow motion (although a lot less of that this time around), batshit crazy plotlines, and completely ridiculous set pieces is a film that at its proud and naïve heart is a message that extols the value of family above all else. Sometimes it’s genuinely touching in the moments of sacrifice for the greater good, sometimes it’s genuinely funny, other times it’s tense. Of course there are corny moments, in fact the entire 140 ish minute running length is nearly all corny moments but FF9 knows this, wears it on its sleeve, and just when you’ve said “what the fuck?” for the 85th time as you wonder how these 2 guys can survive in space in a Pontiac, another totally insane set piece is bombastically dropped in front of you and carries you along in a whirlwind of benign bemusement. It ain’t nothing but big dumb fun.

FF9 is like driving a quad bike through a muddy puddle, or laughing at a terrible one liner; think about it too much and the charm disappears. If you want to cognitively doze off for 2 hours and be intoxicated by ubiquitous explosions, the good guys never running out of ammo, a bad guy with a German accent, creative license taken with the laws of physics, and more filming locations than anyone can remember, FF9 ticks all those boxes.

Citizen Kane it ain’t but it’s Fast & Furious for chrissakes. We all know what we signed up for when we bought the ticket.

Roll on FF10.

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