Dog’s life my a$$$. Bentley Motors has announced its latest venture into making rich people feel special – a luxury apartment complex where even the dogs live better than most humans.
The crown jewel of this architectural fever dream? A 114-square-foot pet spa that’s more luxurious than your first apartment. Complete with non-slip diamond-patterned floors (because God forbid Fifi slips while getting her $500 bath) and custom-designed grey marble drying stations, it’s the kind of place where your Golden Retriever might develop a superiority complex.
But wait, there’s more! The tower, set to grace Sunny Isles Beach by 2028, features the “Dezervator” – a fancy car elevator that lets residents drive straight to their apartments, because apparently walking through a lobby is so 2023 . Each unit comes with its own private swimming pool on the balcony, perfect for those times when sharing a pool with other millionaires feels too peasant-like.
Celebrity chef Todd English, proud owner of four James Beard awards, will be slinging gourmet treats in the residents-only restaurant. Because nothing says “I’ve made it” quite like having a famous chef cook your breakfast.
The piece de resistance? A whisky bar suspended from the ceiling, designed to mimic Bentley’s iconic matrix grille. Because nothing screams “sophisticated” like drinking expensive scotch while floating in mid-air.
Starting at a mere US$5.8 million per unit, this 62-story monument to excess is what happens when someone says “money can’t buy happiness” and Bentley replies “hold my champagne”.
In related news, local therapists report a surge in dogs suffering from imposter syndrome after visiting the pet spa.
