In a move that feels ripped from a dystopian sci-fi comedy, Ford has secured a patent for a technology that would allow your car to leave you if you fall behind on payments. Forget the tow truck of shame; your vehicle might just decide it’s had enough and drive itself back to the dealership, or worse, straight to the scrapyard if it feels you haven’t treated it right.
This proposed system for automated repossession outlines a deliciously passive-aggressive breakup process between car and owner. It doesn’t start with a dramatic exit. Instead, it begins with a “certain level of discomfort,” as the patent delicately puts it. First, your car might give you the silent treatment by disabling the GPS and music system. If you still don’t get the hint, it might turn up the heat, or turn it off completely, by deactivating the air conditioning.
Should these subtle nudges fail, the car escalates its campaign of annoyance. Prepare for an “incessant and unpleasant sound” every time you get inside, a digital nag designed to break your will. If you remain defiant, the vehicle will start setting boundaries. It might ground itself on weekends by locking you out, but magnanimously allow you to drive to work on weekdays, because it still needs you to earn the money to pay for it. It could even enforce a geofence, refusing to operate in certain areas, effectively telling you, “It’s not me, it’s you… and this entire zip code”.
The final act in this automotive drama is the self-repossession. If all other measures have been ignored, the car could be instructed to drive itself to a pre-arranged meeting with a tow truck or all the way back to the repossession lot. In the most brutal and final judgment, if your loan-to-value ratio is poor and the car’s condition reflects a hard life, it may be programmed to perform a final, solemn drive to the nearest scrapyard for recycling.
Before you start apologizing to your Focus, there’s a significant roadblock. This entire concept hinges on fully autonomous driving, a technology that has remained stubbornly on the horizon for over a decade. In a twist of corporate irony, Ford itself recently announced it was abandoning its own quest for full self-driving technology after sinking $2.7 billion into the effort.
Beyond the technological hurdles lie serious security concerns. Security expert Alan Woodward notes that building such a system into a vehicle would be a “brave” move for any manufacturer. The potential for misuse is enormous. Imagine hackers gaining access and sending an entire fleet of cars to the crusher for laughs, or a thief simply telling your car to drive itself to their garage. Woodward also points to the risk of socially engineering authorised users to gain access, tricking them into initiating their own car’s departure.
While this technology is not appearing in the Ford Puma anytime soon, the patent offers a fascinating and slightly terrifying glimpse into a future where your largest assets could have a mind of their own. For now, we can rest easy, but it might be wise to stay current on your payments and maybe wash the car this weekend. You know, just in case it’s listening.
